Because of you,
My horoscope tells me (often) to do the thing I am most terrified of.
Easy.
Losing my worth to your essence is what I fear most.
Being rejected over and over by you is what I originally assumed would take my power away.
I threw myself in the fire
To know you.
To understand you.
You are worth love so fucking pure, it hurts.
To know me
Is to sit confidently
In not knowing the future.
To know me
Is to be still
With uncertainty.
With stillness
Comes patience.
With patience
Comes purpose.
I am every lesson you have learned,
and all the lessons you will eventually learn.
Words are magic.
We as humans are magic because we can use words.
With words,
Comes magic,
With magic,
Comes power,
With power,
Comes chaotic intent.
Using words without intention.
I am sorry I called you Evil.
I am sorry.
I am sorry I hurt your soul.
No one wants to be called evil,
Especially by someone you love.
Sometimes love breaks us.
That’s what makes it so special.
Because once broken - love has the power to heal.
You are so special to me.
Not the rockstar.
Not the musician.
Not the singer.
Not the bassist.
Not the band.
Not the past.
Not the future.
Just you.
You are what makes you special to me.
I feel, deep in my heart, to give yourself permission to fall in love, is heroic.
Giving this universe a moment to create space needed for love, is heroic.
A moment we shared, even in the past, gave our timelines the connection it craved.
The love it craved.
We are meant to be Loved.
We are meant to be Cherished.
We are meant to be Worshiped.
Why?
Because we are human.
Humans see things differently.
Humans hear things differently.
Humans process things differently.
Humans are different.
Humans are special.
Humans are souls consciously living life.
Humans are a gift to this universe.
Humans are meant to give love.
Humans are meant to receive love.
….
I no longer fear losing my worth to you.
Because my worth isn’t dependent on another human.
It’s dependent on my soul showing up for myself.
It’s dependent on myself advocating for soul.
The soul & self.
Me rejecting my own self from telling you how much I like your soul made me want to rip out my own insides.
Why on earth would someone not want to be told how incredible they are?
Hurt people hurt people.
Hurt people resist feeling.
I know we’ve been hurt.
I know we’ve been bruised.
I know we’ve been broken.
I know that’s why we stay silent.
Our throats are so full of love.
I want you to want to scream.
I want you to hear the love you effortless give the world.
The love you create is not going anywhere.
The love you create is not fake.
It’s understanding worth.
It’s understanding desire.
It’s understanding that those blue eyes are portals to the entire universe.
It’s understanding the power you have.
I left a marriage because I felt, life.
I left a job, after being fired, willingly, because I felt, life.
I left an entire reality to create a new one because I felt, life.
This universe is life.
Those blue eyes gave my soul, life.
All it took was one moment and it changed me forever.
That’s some powerful energetic shit my guy.
Own it.
Claim it.
Pick up your crown.
Because of you
I am going to be okay.
