B
B,
Sending a past life soul love & light.
I think you may be a time traveler.
I find you along my currently path as your past selfs.
Probably in your late 20’s.
I was meant to make love with you.
Karmic Cycle meets twin flame (shadow self) meets catalyst of change Dragon Energy type of essence. Of course we fucked, How could we not. We were the universe’s Divine souls just waiting to meet for a moment in time.
Cosmic.
Universal love.
I was however not meant to fuck the world around me in order to numb the pain.
Personally, I create WAY too much chaos, doing it that way, fucking the world.
If led from hate I tend to take souls with me like pocket change.
The feelings this path left me were empty & unsure
- me fucking the world, needed to stop.
So I shifted my mindset.
I was meant to learn from you.
Reaching out to you from a different reality.
From a different timeline.
You keep showing up in my dreams.
Mirroring the nightmare & dream of our connection.
The deepest darkness & brightest lights
Just me and you.
Stuck in a time loop.
Both good & bad depending on mindset.
I feel as though I
continuously release
the idea of you
& your heart being in my universe.
But deep down, I know I took a part of you.
Because the essence of you keeps showing up all over the place.
So in turn I feel pain and misery each time I write to you because I know how much pain it brings to your heart.
Forgive me.
I have learned from your soul.
I have learned from your heart.
You have full power & permission to call back every part of you.
I do not wish to hold on to you.
I cherish freedom.
I honor freedom.
Because of you,
I have learned the gift in letting it be.
As beyond as this feels, let’s not ignore the truth.
this shit is twisted.
& For a long time, I prayed for you to help me untwist this.
I want you to know,
Your soul helped me, every step of the way.
For a long time I resisted.
Eventually, I surrendered to what you were trying to show me.
I learned to understand.
It’s funny, I’ll write to you with all my most vulnerable words,
knowing deep inside
you won’t believe a word I write
because of the paths your past self has taken.
That's not your fault.
I write the words knowing you won’t be there on the other side.
I write the words to an empty black hole.
Calling back to myself
Calling back to whatever keeps creating energy for you.
Like a light, In the darkness.
This path I created for myself ensured the lessons of a major fear of mine.
Call it, The Lessons of the Shadow.
You didn’t do anything wrong,
I did it to myself. I stepped on the path because it gave me life.
At the time, I deserved to experience what it felt like a prisoner in my own prison inside & outside and then see my own self build enough internal strength to break through & become free from it all.
To rise,
Rise from the ashes,
& soar.
Conveniently, before we had our moment,
I was in the works of creating a sanctuary for myself
to process the fear of abandonment.
Call it intuition or because I had already subconsciously chosen to abandon my entire life.
Before we had our moment.
So in turn, you ghosting me had some pretty ironic divine timing.
Call it a projection of my own self.
Without the need for
your presence or approval
I still have this gut feeling
I can’t remove permanently.
You don’t exist in my world.
Yet, you exist in the flames all around me.
I no longer desire to be in your shadow.
And I have a feeling you wouldn’t want me to.
I freed myself to figure this out.
You told me you were a lone wolf.
I believed you.
I believed how strong you are because of it.
Because being completely on my own.
Having to pull my own self out of hell
That’s tough.
Bro, that shit makes you T-O-U-G-H.
Mac Miller gets it.
Kid Cudi gets it.
I get it.
That shit makes you work hard.
Life alone makes you a jedi.
Life as the observer makes you strong.
I always knew.
I always felt.
I just now understand.
Thank you for teaching me to fly B.
I honor the essence you have created in my life.
