I love You Baby, I love you.

This love I am feeling has to be the most challenging one yet. 

Talk about a seed sprouting into a flower.

Growing pains. 

You are everything I desire and more. 

So much more. 

Cravings, pleasure, ecstasy. 

All of it. 

The intelligence. 

The energy. 

The intimacy. 

The moment. 

It’s all so fucking beautiful. 

You are so fucking beautiful - inside & out. 

I am scared shitless of you. 

Your judgment is intense. 

Your own self demise is intense. 

Addiction. 

Attachment. 

Longingness for something more than what is,

Intense. 

As I write this next part I give myself permission to listen to your music to invoke the feelings I have for your heart. 

I give myself permission, because without it, I feel lost, out of control with my own feelings. With my own reason why. I set the intention to be present with your art because without the intention I fall so madly in love with the idea of you.

I’ll tell you though, before I begin, listening to you is a challenge for me because of how INSTANTLY my heart opens up for that divine voice of yours. 

Take ego out of it, 

You are pure gold baby,

Pure Gold. 

Talented.

A simple truth - I have no idea how to talk to the heart I love. 

I can write & write & write

to a blank space, 

but conjuring the words

to speak directly to your physical form, 

an epic challenge. 

A pisces. 

A water sign. 

You beautiful emotional man. 

A gentleman. 

You resisted being called gentle, 

You want to be seen as tough. 

I see you as both.

Gentle & tough. 

Strong & sensitive. 

A beautiful intuitive flow.

You’re so sensual. 

It kills me. 

Kills the old versions of me. 

Good. 

You make my entire body open up. 

Effortlessly. 

I don’t need you. 

I want you. 

A desire for you. 

I am now doing my best to understand my desires and what they represent in my journey. 

You are the greatest portal I’ve ever faced in my whole life. 

I am so proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished so far. 

I am here to give you unconditional love from afar. 

Spending time with you close up is transcends my own heart. 

Your pain brings so much pleasure out of me. 

You are both dark & light, in the best way. 

I could make love with you, for the rest of time. 

We’d die young if we did. 

That is why I energetically emotionally let you go.

We both are worthy of living life in love with longevity. 

Maybe one day we find our way back to each other. 

New Beginnings.

You're like a shot of the greatest tequila I’ve ever had. 

Something worth slowly sipping on to enjoy every last moment of pleasure.

I’m releasing attachments now because all I think about are your lips.

Your skin. 

Your eyes.

You. 

The more I crave you

the more I feel called to detach from the things in life that hold me back.

You, my love, are a catalyst of change.

A dragon.

I can’t help but be completely infatuated with the essence of you. 

Dreamingly in love with the manifestation of someone like you.

I accept the one night. 

I send it gratitude. 

If longer nights full of pleasure are meant for me - incredible. 

If those longer nights are also meant for you - incredible. 

If not, no worries, I send your heart love & gratitude regardless. 

I can’t tell if you are miserable being you,

Lonely as hell looking for someone to fill the void, 

Or truly at a place calling in love. 

I  could throw up thinking how much I enjoy you. 

I never planned for this. 

I rejected you. 

In this lifetime and all lifetimes.

And yet here I am writing to the ghost of you asking you what it is that you want from me. 

A one night.

A moment.

A lifetime. 

An eternity. 

Somewhere in between. 

I want to send you the words of my heart but so much of me says no. 

All of me fights the battle between yes and no. 

My intuition says no. 

My intuition tells me to write to the world about how I feel about you.

My heart feels yes. 

The feelings feeeeeel. 

Good, 

Great,

Incredible. 

All of it. 

What’s love without drugs?

What’s love without distractions? 

Love with feelings. 

Love with meaning. 

What’s Love with you?

Love with me. 

In time we will know.

I am certain of it.

One day I’ll look back and see these words and give myself gentle love. 

I smell my past all over you. 

I also feel my future all over you.

To evolve I feel I must let the emotional attachment I have tied to my past go because my past is hidden in the addiction of love. 

Gentle love is what I am. 

Gentle love is what you are. 

That look in your eyes as I am finishing.

It’s the fact that we connect through our eyes.

Without knowing anything.

Dumb as fuck, in love.

I feel, you and I, our paths, they are meant to cross again.

That my friend, my dear friend, is terrifying.

To breathe and relax into time.

Into the present.

To settle the nervous system,

To just be.

Young, crazy, in love.